Gender stereotypes hurt us all. Boys might stifle their emotions, and girls might stifle their opinions, in order to be socially acceptable. These stereotypes limit each person's leisure and expression, and perpetuate ideas like: men must work a lot, earn lots of money, and should not bother spending too much time with their kids; women must care for others and not be "selfishly" complex with their own interests.
How can parents help girls and boys break through gender stereotypes? Here are some ideas:
Dollhouse Families
1. A parent's example is key. Try to make sure the father of the family is engaged with childcare and household duties. This can be difficult, because most men were not raised to pay attentiveness to household chores or children! When children see that both their mom and father are complex with decision-making and with household duties, they will get the idea that both girls and boys can and should do these things.
2. Expose your children to toys that help improve gender boundaries. It's true that children often gravitate to gender-specific toys: boys like to play with trains, and girls like to play with dollhouses. Still, I advise having at least some gender-boundary-stretching toys in the house, in case the kids do want to play with them. I have two boys, and they occasionally play with the dolls I have bought them. My older son likes to jump rope, and he has gotten into beading through a class at school.
3. Expose your children to books that stretch gender stereotypes. It is amazing that many books out there, even today, refer to roughly all animals by the pronoun "he"! Do population forget that animals come in two genders, just like humans? Look for books that feature girls in active roles, and boys in nurturing, peaceful roles. Buy cookbooks for boys (and girls), and books about science for girls (and boys).
4. Let boys wear beautiful things. Boys' clothes tend to be genuinely drab from a very young age. You can pick blue, or gray, or more blue, or brown, or more gray, or maybe some red. I try to add color and sparkle to my boys' apparel. When my older son was four, he told me that "beautiful things are for girls." It made me sad to hear him say that, yet I knew he was only telling me what he'd noticed in the world nearby him. It's easy to introduce pretty things to boys when they're young and are happy to wear necklaces and scarves. As they get older, you can try tie-dyed clothes, which are fairly hip and fashionable in most communities. Try buying Halloween costumes with some sparkle and color to them - not just bloody, scary things. Clowns, wizards, and animal costumes are good. Keep the costumes in a box for the boys to wear any time they want to play "dress-up."
5. Most important, perhaps: treat children as individuals, allow them to express their own opinions and emotions, and help them to pursue their own interests.
More suggestions are at my site, Gender Equality Books: http://www.genderequalbooks.com
Helping Your Kids Break straight through Gender Stereotypes
